Day 130: Standing Face to Face with the Mirror

Yesterday was the first time I felt a flicker of shame about sharing my story. It wasn’t about seeking pity or diminishing anyone else’s struggles—I just realized how exposed I am on a platform of millions. But here’s the truth: I’m not here for attention. I’m here to confront the boy in the mirror I’ve been running from my whole life. Because if I can be honest with all of you, then maybe—just maybe—I can finally be honest with myself.

I’ve talked about isolation, about how that RV became my cell, how my shattered ankle kept me trapped. I’ve referenced documentaries and films because I’ve seen people struggle for days and still feel the effects decades later. My own fight has lasted far longer than six days, and it’s more than just physical confinement—it’s the loneliness and untreated demons that tore me apart from within. “Hope” carried me when I was too broken to stand, waking me up from a suicide attempt in sub-freezing temperatures, and again when I nearly crashed my car. She became my lifeline, and yes, I still cling to her image, to the promise I felt in her presence.

I woke up this morning ready to celebrate the progress I’ve made, only to watch my mood shift in the blink of an eye. That’s the nature of depression: it doesn’t ask permission to change the channel. Yet I’m still moving forward—one word at a time—because I believe in the power of honesty. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of letting shame dictate what I share. So, thank you for reading, and for giving me a reason to keep speaking my truth. More importantly, thank me for finally recognizing my own worth. That, above all else, might just be the most powerful realization of all.

Day 130

One Step. One Punch. One Round. 🌹

—Your Fellow Traveler