Day 119 — Facing Death, Finding Life
Share
I’ve stared Death in the face. That’s a surreal sentence to type, but it’s true. In my darkest hours—when I felt trapped and alone—I fought my way back. I blocked out pieces of that time, maybe to save what little sanity I had. Yet here I am, still fighting, still breathing. It hasn’t been easy, and I’m not the same person I was before…but maybe that’s a blessing. The old me found comfort in Netflix binges and bourbon nightcaps, masking the depression I’d never confronted. Now, each day I struggle, I also grow, discovering strengths I never knew I had.
I’m beyond grateful for this renewed relationship with my mom. Communication wasn’t always our family’s strong suit, and I carried that hesitancy into adulthood. But over the last year and a half, something shifted. My time recovering—mentally and physically—opened a door for genuine connection with her. We even took a 2,500-mile road trip together, dodging interstates and making memories along the way. Just me, Mom, two cats, a dog, and the bits of my life I could fit into my vehicle. Not much, but enough. Enough to start rebuilding from the ground up.
I’m learning that sometimes you have to come back to where you started to remember who you were. Only then can you truly figure out who you are now. And that’s where I am: somewhere between old ghosts and new beginnings, trying to give myself credit for simply surviving…and still holding onto hope that I’ll do more than just survive—I’ll live.
Day 119
One Step. One Punch. One Round. 🌹
—Your Fellow Traveler